Jean's Lament
by Mike N
Summary: Three short stories written in a combination of first and third person of the Jean Grey Summers, Scott Summers, and Emma Frost love triangle. Charles Xavier and Hank McCoy guest star.
1. Jean

**I.**

I stare out of the large panel window in the den of Xavier's School for Higher Learning. The day outside is beautiful, small birds leap from one frail branch to another, squirrels nimbly leap from tree to tree in some animalistic game of tag, and the birds sing as if they were singing to the world. Even after seeing such a blue sky, such a sunny day, I can't feel better.

I haven't seen Scott for several days now. I don't know where he is. Could I find him? There's no doubt about it. Next to the professor, I am the strongest telepath in the world. Yet, I can't bring myself to even try to find him. Maybe he doesn't want to be found. Maybe, it's just that I'm not ready yet...not ready to face the ugly truth.

It happened a while ago...it was actually one of the Stepford Cuckoos that hinted something was going on. I doubted it, I seriously wanted it to be a lie. But I saw for myself, Emma holding Scott, touching Scott, kissing him, the way only I should be able to...the way we used to do.

Nate helped me to find my husband...I wanted him back so badly. But did I really have him? He was so cold when he returned, ruthless, almost the total opposite of the man I knew as Scott Summers. I loved him...I still do, don't I? I just don't know anymore. Yes, I blame myself for him taking off.

I may be the second strongest telepath on earth, but I can't even get through to my estranged husband. I can't allow it to end like this. We've been through so much...all the pain, the tears, the heartache, the laughter, the love...how can we just fall apart like this? Is it me? Could the Phoenix really be changing me and I just don't realize it? Or maybe this is how love works. No, that can't be right, I won't let that be right.

I have control. I can bring my husband back to me.

**II.**

Professor Charles Xavier silently slipped into the room.

"Professor," Jean said without turning around.

"Your thoughts are like the thunder shaking the windows of an old shack. Come now, Jean...you need to rest." Jean hadn't slept well for the past few days, and continually drifted in and out of the spacious office.

"I feel comfortable in here...the first place I saw Scott," Jean replied. She continued to stare out the window. As Charles neared her, her face became more visible. He could see the trail of tears on her face.

"Jean," Charles softly said. He felt more like a father than anything to Jean and hated seeing her like this.

"I just don't understand how...why?" Jean paused, collecting herself before she continued. She wouldn't allow herself to lose control.

"How could this happen? Why...after all this time...?" Jean fell silent, staring at a small robin that quickly flew away.

Charles wished he could answer her questions. He wished that he could make her pain go away. It hurt him deeply to see two students he cared about so much at odds like this.

Charles sat down beside her, trying to see what she was captivated by outside.

"Things won't ever be the same again, will they?"

"Change is inevitable, Jean. Sometimes, it's not the change we hope for, but it is change nonetheless. Trials will always be there to strengthen us and this is no different. Scott needs you...he has always needed you, just as you need him. He will come back."

For the first time since he came in, Jean took her eyes away from the window, glancing down at the wedding ring on her slender finger. Jean stared at it for another moment, before returning her eyes to the scene outside of the window.

"Yes, he'll be back..." Jean whispered.


	2. Emma

**I.**

The darkness swallowed the room like a large mouth, enveloping all that was in it, including the blond woman lying in the bed crying. A muffled sob escaped from where she had her head buried in her pillow. Everything had gone wrong.

**II.**

I remember when I first decided to rejoin the ranks of the X-Men. After closing the Gifted Youngsters facility, I went to Genosha under the direction of Charles, hoping to continue teaching young mutants. However, when the massacre occurred, I was spared by what Hank calls a second mutation, the crystallizing of my skin. Only because of this did I survive, but I was buried with one of my students, a young girl, for days hoping and waiting for someone to rescue them.

Ironically enough, it was Jean that saved me that time, and it was Jean that saved me from death yet again. This time, instead of being a victim of circumstance, I was deliberately murdered by one of my own students, Esme.

It's funny, I thought I had found protégés in the five young quintuplets. However, soon, after the death of one of their sisters, things started falling apart between us. They blamed me for her death, especially Esme.

Despite all of this, it isn't the murder that bothers me so much as the events that led up to it, including Jean's discovery of my therapy sessions for Scott. But I didn't mean anything by it, I was only trying to help, wasn't I?

No, I know the truth, I can't lie to myself. I was attracted to the tall, brooding leader of the X-Men. It wasn't so much his stoic, heroic schoolboy persona he showed off constantly. No, there was much more to Scott Summers than that, and I wanted to know.

In the beginning, I initially attempted to seduce him to spite Jean...deep down, I hate her. Jean's attack as Dark Phoenix had left me in a coma for months. When I finally recovered, I swore that I would pay her back ten-fold, and what better way than to attack her through the man she loved. Yes, they loved each other, deeply. But, both of them had issues that they were hiding from each other.

Jean and her Phoenix persona, Scott and his broken, cold personality...they both tried to repress them for fear of it running out of control. They hid their fears and insecurities from each other, trying to be the strong one. All they did was drive each other away, which made my attempts that much easier.

However, I never intended to really get to know Scott, how he felt deep inside, his flaws. These things that I stumbled upon were new, rare things to me. They were actually attractive, in some ways. All of the men in my life have always wanted power, to be the strongest. But Scott, he wasn't like that. He was...he was just Scott.

When Jean finally confronted me, I didn't know what to do. Jean hid it, but I knew the damage she could do, the power she wielded. I silently cursed myself for being so brazen and not listening to Hank when he warned me. Jean spared me, which was actually a surprise all things considered, but left me to my own guilt and frustration. Now, Scott had disappeared, leaving me alone...alone when I needed him the most.

But am I just being selfish? What about Jean? Why did she even decide to help me? I don't know what to do, and now, I'm alienated from everyone in the mansion. Maybe I should just lay here and never get up...

**III.**

Hank padded softly through the hallway, making his way to Emma's room. Since she had first woken up, remembering everything that happened, she had been locked in her room, not even coming out to eat. Hank was especially worried because of everything that happened. Even though, he thought slightly less of Emma for her intrusion on Scott and Jean's relationship, he could understand.

He had reacted very oddly to his ruined relationship with Trish Tilby, even going so far as to say he was homosexual on national television, just to spite her. Even though there could be an element of revenge for Emma, he was smart enough to see that she had actually fallen in love with Scott.

He stopped at her door and listened for a moment. He heard a muffled sob, which was almost heartbreaking. Hank lifted his paw and rapped lightly on the door.

"Emma?" he softly said. In his other hand, he balanced a tray with some mashed potatoes, roast beef with a touch of wine sauce, complete with a roll, a slice of cake, and some water.

Hank listened for a moment, hoping to hear the sound of bare feet crossing the room, but he heard nothing.

Hank frowned with concern as he lightly knocked again and announced, "I'm coming in."

The door slowly opened...the light breaking up the enveloping darkness. He set the tray on a barely visible table next to the door.

"Emma, are you awake?"

No answer. He looked toward the bed and could make out the figure of a woman lying with her back to him.

Hank took a breath. "I just wanted to check on you to make sure you were okay. Scott still hasn't come back, and now Wolverine and Fantomex are gone as well." Hank paused. "I know that things must be difficult for you right now, Emma, but if you want someone to talk to, I'm still here for you."

He was responded with a sniffle and another muffled sob. He slowly backed out of the room and closed the door, hoping that Emma would be okay.


	3. Scott

I.

Scott's Mazda RX-8 down the long, curved roads of the wooded area around the mansion. He was leaving...he didn't care where he went just as long as he was away. Away from all of the responsibility, away from all of the confusion, away from Emma, and most of all, away from Jean.

He wasn't sure what was wrong...everything just seemed different. His whole outlook on life had been altered since his separation from Apocalypse. Scott could feel thoughts, feelings...almost of an evil nature creeping, seeping into the core of his being. He found himself noticeably cool and short with teammates that he had known for most of his life. He kept to himself more, not wanting the company of anyone. Even Jean.

Scott sighed as he whipped around a curve in the road at about eighty miles per hour.

"What the hell was I thinking?" Scott hit the steering wheel, trying to relieve the frustration that was growing in his mind.

_'What the hell was I thinking...'_ it seemed to be the catch-phrase of his life these days. Scott had spent many a night asking himself the same question over and over again. When Jean lay, facing the opposite way, sound asleep, Scott was wide awake.

He was growing away from Jean, but he didn't know why. Not only did he have to deal with his issues, but Scott had noticed Jean changing as well. She was avoiding him. They were hardly together anymore, using the excuse of work to separate themselves from each other.

Maybe that's why it was so easy for Scott to succumb to Emma. Even though the new feelings in Scott made him distant, there was still the longing for companionship...love.

His foot pressed harder against the pedal, hoping he could speed away from everything: the mansion, Professor Xavier, the X-Men, Logan, Emma, and most of all Jean.

How could he face her...after everything that happened? Scott sighed as he got lost in his own thoughts.

II.

What the hell was I thinking?

It's ironic...I'm running away from the one woman who I chased after most of my young adult years. I'm running away like a scared, confused little boy. But, that's what it comes down to...I'm confused, and in some ways, I'm scared. Scared of what I've become, what Jean thinks, what the Professor thinks, hell, what everyone else thinks.

It's been easy to hide my feelings from everyone, even Jean. I never could before...she was always there. She knew me sometimes better than I knew myself. But I had to be strong...strong for the team...strong for my family...and strong for Jean.

My family...that's something to think about. I have a son that's older than I am, a daughter that harnesses the same dangerous power that almost destroyed Jean, and I had yet another son that I gave my life for. Their not actually my children, but I feel a bond to them and for all of them, in one form or another, Jean is their mother. She and I seem to have had less of a strained relationship in the rest of these timelines.

Somehow, Emma Frost of all women I've had in my life found something that I thought was destroyed along with Apocalypse. She came to me in my time of need and was able to draw something from me that I thought I had lost. Emma Frost...is the woman a blessing or a curse?

Everything is so...damn complicated. Why...why can't I just be who I was before? Why is all this happening?

Jean...I can't even begin to apologize...but the ironic thing is that I can't. Was what I did really wrong? You're supposed to understand...you're supposed to care. No, she does...what am I thinking...I don't know anymore. Does Emma really care about me? Of course not...she's just trying to...I just can't figure her out either.

What the hell was I thinking?

No, no. I don't want to think about any of it anymore. Dammit.

III.

When Scott found himself in the parking lot of the Hellfire Club, his first instinct, despite everything that had happened, was to drive away. But he had already been to the dark side, what could the Hellfire Club do that was any worse?

Scott slowly climbed out of the car, looking at the sign before taking the first step toward what would become an adventurous night.


End file.
